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Jay Shetty on overcoming self doubt in real estate

Confidence starts with knowing your power and understanding your strength .

In tough times, becoming bogged down with self-doubt can happen to the best of us. During such a volatile and uncertain time for our housing market, industry professionals may be finding themselves falling into this very trap. 

Between failed deals, sales going south and overall rejection, it’s easy to second-guess yourself as a real estate professional today. “I know it feels like a lot,” said Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast and the keynote speaker at the NAR NXT conference in Orlando. “Before I really got a breakthrough in my career, I spent a lot of time hearing no.”

Breaking through the barrier of self-doubt could be the single most important step to a successful career in any industry, and for real estate professionals, it’s a must. 

Shetty puts it best, “Self-doubt is one of the most crippling and crumbling things in the world. And we feel it because there’s so much failure, so much objection, so many nos, so much lack of belief around what we do.”

So, if you want to replace doubt with strength, where do you begin? The first stop is self-evaluation according to Shetty. 

Outgoing vs. reserved personalities 

Getting to know yourself can be a big help when it comes to connecting with buyers and sellers. Shetty opts for first asking yourself a simple question: “Am I outgoing or am I reserved?” 

There’s no wrong answer. Shetty highlights that confidence can thrive in both personality types, despite some common misconceptions that reserved folks are lacking in the confidence department. 

“If you are reserved, you’re just as confident, this is not a difference in confidence. You’re more likely to stand on the sidelines, get into a deep meaningful conversation as a one-on-one. And this is when you feel your best,” said Shetty. 

Once you’ve figured out which side of the aisle you land on with this question, it’s time to move to the next. 

People focused vs. task focused 

The second question Shetty urges professionals to ask themselves is whether they are people focused, or task focused. Your instinct might be that you’re both! So, how can you determine which side you lean towards?

“People-focused people are thinking, ‘Is everyone having a good time? Is everyone engaged? Is everyone learning?’ They’re thinking about people’s experiences,” explained Shetty. 

On the other hand, task-focused folks are likely looking at the time. “‘Oh, 10 minutes left. Oh my [gosh], health and safety? What if anyone falls over?’ So people-oriented people think about people first, task-focused people think about tasks first.”

Just like outgoing vs. reserved, there’s no right or wrong type. Finding your strength in real estate is all about embracing what makes you you and unearthing the talents that will best serve your customers and clients. In fact, the more diversity; the better.

Shetty employs Einstein to make this point. “There’s a beautiful statement that Albert Einstein shared, he said that everyone’s a genius. That if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it’s stupid.” 

When you’re a bird trying to swim, or a fish trying to climb a tree, it’s easy for self doubt to creep its way in. To be comfortable and confident with yourself is the ultimate way to abolish self doubt both professionally and personally. 

“When we are trying to be someone else, that’s when we lose our power,” said Shetty. “When we’re comparing ourselves to someone else, thinking, ‘If we could just be a little bit more like them, we’d be successful.’ That’s when you lose your power.”

And in real estate, finding and preserving your superpower can be the secret to success. 

Unlocking your superpower 

“When we understand our superpower, and accept it and engage with it, and believe in the power of what we offer and who we are, and realize that no matter which group you are in, if you go deeper into those strengths and skills, the more power you’re going to have,” says Shetty. 

Finding your superpower doesn’t mean doing what you see other successful people do. It could mean doing the exact opposite. As long as you’re making use of your strengths and using them to connect with others, your superpower could be wildly different from the colleagues around you. 

“We need different faces, different voices, different mindsets, different approaches. There isn’t a one size fits all. The power you have to connect with someone is going to connect with a totally different group of people than someone else,” he said. 

Once again making his point with a powerful quote, Shetty concludes by saying, “Wayne Dyer once said, ‘When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.’” 

Changing the way we look at ourselves can be the key to finding the superpower we bring to the table, to brokerages, to clients and to the real estate industry as a whole.