How to Read Your Real Estate Buyers’ and Sellers’ Minds

Business fulfills each and every one of them



Written by Chris Rediger, president and co-founder of Redefy Real Estate

Read body language to reveal truth, earn trust and close more deals

Success in sales isn’t about talking. It’s really about observing. As you meet with potential clients, don’t just throw your pitch out. Look and listen for “leakage” – what they’re subconsciously telling you – through speech and body language. Are they lying to you? Are they confused? Angry? Interested?

“To read others well, trust your instincts first and improve your observation skills,” advises Rachael McNaughton, a real estate trainer and Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming.


Here are some hidden body language codes to read your customer’s mind:


I’m not telling you the (whole) truth…

  • Saying “just kidding”, “let me be honest…” or “I would never lie…”
  • Sugary sweet vocal code
  • Hidden hands or thumbs
  • Gripping an object tightly
  • Face touching, nose touching
  • Feet resting on the outside edge
  • Gulping
  • One ankle over another
  • Lack of eye contact

I lack confidence in you or myself…

  • Fidgeting
  • Constant nodding
  • Self-effacing
  • Excessive blinking

I’m not sure about what you’re saying…

  • Clipped edge in voice
  • Slow, over-articulated words
  • Eyes narrowed, furrowed brow or one eyebrow lifts
  • Scratching behind the ear, head scratching
  • Cheek rubbing, head bowed

I don’t think I like you…

  • Hard handshake, limp handshake
  • Leaning back
  • Constant contradictions
  • Facing you, but legs pointed away
  • Lack of eye contact
  • Smile with unexpressive eyes

I really disagree with you…

  • Rising voice pitch
  • Head jerking, jutted chin
  • Body lunged forward, rigid posture
  • Lip biting, aloof expression
  • Rubbing ears between thumb and forefinger

I don’t want a sales pitch, I want the facts…

  • “I don’t know”, “Yup” or “Nope”, one-word answers
  • Choppy, staccato tones
  • Hands on hips with elbows out, arms crossed
  • Slumped posture, yawning (“acting” bored)

I’m honestly interested in what you’re saying…

  • Lowered voice pitch (Aha! You’re at the heart of the matter)
  • Smile with expressive eyes, lifted cheeks
  • Leaning sideways, leaning in, tilted head
  • Hands behind back
  • Feet flat, uncrossed legs


By paying attention to these cues, you can adjust your approach appropriately. Don’t forget that these codes apply to you as well. Work on what you say in front of a mirror to reflect a positive, trustworthy manner. Match your client’s energy and subtly mirror any positive body language (slightly lean in when they do).


“With this awareness you can experience stunning insights, and increase self-awareness and empathy toward others,” says McNaughton.



Chris Rediger is the President and Co-Founder of Redefy Real Estate, a national flat fee, full service real estate company headquartered in Denver, CO.













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